Damn it, Murdock
by Emmy Betancourt
Summary: You used to date a guy in college. Well, everybody usually dates somebody in college. But this man was special. And then everything went terrible. After all these years, you come back to New York to find that Foggy Nelson needs your help. He sounds excited and heartbroken. After all this time, Matthew Murdock needs you again.
1. Chapter 1

**Notes:**

 **I published this in another webpage but I decided to do it here, also. As I've said before, I'm not a native English speaker so feel free to leave comments or correct anything you want. That's how we improve!**

* * *

 _Start spreadin' the news, i'm leavin' today_

 _i want to be a part of it_  
 _New york, New york_

 _"New York, New York", Frank Sinatra._

* * *

Your phone hadn't stopped buzzing for a long time. It seemed ages but you didn't want to answer despite the awful sound. Moreover, you couldn't imagine who was calling you, as you didn't have that number saved. Maybe somebody had written a wrong number, who knew. Also, who could imagine that you were back there, in New York?

Nobody, you hoped.

The sound interrupted itself in the middle of the call. It was like if the other person was tired of trying and had given up, thinking that his or her efforts were useless. Better that way, you thought while pouring yourself a glass of wine. It was one of the little pleasures you had after a long day working. Sitting near the window with a glass of wine, sometimes with drops of rain striking the ground. You liked to open the window and smelling the aroma of wet grass. That was one of the privileges you had. A small garden, enough to spread the flowers' scent every morning through your window.

You extended your right hand in order to reach the poetry book you were reading the previous night but the phone began to ring again. You groaned in disgust and left the glass on the table, holding your phone.

"Hello?"

"(Y/N)? Is that you?"

"Who's calling?" You asked frowning your eyebrows, not being able to recognise that voice.

"Is Franklin Nelson"

You were lost to words when the name came from the phone. Something in your brain was moving like a gear. Memories. Moments. College. Columbia. All the things you thought you had forgotten some time ago. But this was…

"Foggy! I'm…well, I'm not going to lie. It is a surprise to me. How did you know my number? A lot of years have passed and…"

"I know, I know. I just…well, sometimes I talk with old classmates and stuff and they told me you were here in Hell's Kitchen"

"Liar", you replied with a grin in your face.

"Okay, okay. I saw you once on the street and…", you heard just silence, so decided to wait, "I followed you"

"What?"

"It sounds worst. Actually, I had to go somewhere near to Columbia and I asked some questions…You know, I was wondering…after all this years…"

"Yeah, I know", you sighed and fell on your couch, hugging one of your cushions. "Things never go as we expect, do they?"

You heard a sound between a snort and an ironical laugh and you didn't know what was going on. Had Foggy called you just to speak about him as a stalker? You didn't believe so.

"Foggy, you wanted something. As you said, we haven't talked for ages, and now, a few months after I've moved back to New York, you call me", you stopped and rubbed your tired eyes. You needed some sleep. "What's wrong?"

"Matthew", his voice had suddenly changed. It was low, dark, and serious. "All these years…can you believe it? All these years. It was all a lie"

"Foggy, you may think that I can read minds or something, because I don't get it"

"He will need your help, (Y/N)"

"Will he?"

"Yeah. I can't stay with him. Not as before. I'm leaving Nelson & Murdock"

"Wait, what? What the hell is Nelson & Murdock?"

"Our office. It was our dream, do you remember?"

"Yeah. You wanted bagels everyday", you said, trying to cheer Foggy up, which worked. At least a little bit, because you heard a tired laugh on the other side of the line.

"And plants. Don't forget the plants"

You both remained silent for a few minutes. You could hear your old neighbour's TV on, with a soap opera about a girl or something like that. She was deaf and always had the volume to the maximum. Outside, a car stopped and somebody slapped the door, walking angrily. Possibly it was Mr. Marcello's daughter, who was seventeen.

"Foggy, will you tell me what's wrong?"

He sighed and you heard something like a glass being left on a surface. You realised about the noise around the man and you could imagine him in a bar, emptying a bottle by himself.

God, things were terrible then.

"Have you heard the news lately, (Y/N)?"

"Briefly. Remember: Moving, new house, new job. This kind of things"

"Yeah, sorry. May…May I invite you to drink coffee?"

"I don't think it will be good for your future hangover, but…yes, of course. Come home tomorrow", you waited until he had asked some woman called Josie a pencil and you gave him your address. "Clear?"

"Got it. Thank you. I…God…probably Matt would kill me for involving you in this, but…It is not fair, (Y/N), you need to know"

"To know…what? Foggy!"

"You won't know anything about what happened in Hell's Kitchen these months. Search an article about Union Allied and then more about "The Devil of Hell's Kitchen"

"Who's he? Or what is he?"

"A vigilante. We've had some issues here. We've not been bored, as you might see. I promise tomorrow you'll know everything. Right now, I just want to destroy my kidney"

"Okay, okay…but…why this vigilante? Who's he?"

The line was silent and you thought that maybe Foggy had hung up. After five minutes, you heard his voice again.

"It's Matthew"

* * *

You always thought that you had been born unlucky. You were always falling and bumping into things on the street. And of course, your first day at the Columbia University wouldn't be different.

You were lost. Officially lost.

You had asked your timetable and now you were walking from one building to another, trying to find yours. Your hunt was unsuccessful and you were becoming more and more exasperated.

You were walking down the path listening to a group of students laughing while they were eating some sandwiches and sitting on the grass. Suddenly, a ray of light dazzled you and surprise. You bumped into someone and you both fell on the ground.

Your palms scraped with the little stones and started to bleed slightly. You hissed and stood up, grabbing the piece of paper with the timetable on it and felt the stress coming out of you.

"Are you blind or what?", you said looking at your hands.

"So they tell me", answered a soft voice and you raised your head.

The first thing you saw were the sunglasses. Nothing unusual at that time of the year. But then, you realised that the boy was holding a white cane between his hands. Your mouth opened and you put one of your hands on it.

"Oh my god. I'm so so sorry, really. I didn't want to…I just…", you swallowed and run your hand through your hair, looking at the long-haired man that was with him.

"Nevermind. Everybody has a bad day"

"Yeah, I think today is mine's", you said nodding and the boy held a hand in the air. You took it, smiling shyly and feeling his heat against your cold palms. "(Y/n)"

"My name is Matthew. And this is Foggy", said he pointing at his friend with his finger.

"Foggy?" You said with small laugh.

"Yeah, he's my roommate and well…he is like a foghorn"

"So funny, Matt", answered Foggy rolling his eyes but with a smirk in his face. He noticed your timetable and raised an eyebrow. "The lady needs help?"

You looked down at the piece of paper and smiled, nodding with your head and looking at it again, carefully. The secretary had noted how to arrive but the instructions were confusing, her handwriting a mess and the buildings all similar.

"Well, yeah. I was going to Spanish right now and…", you turned looking where you were.

"But, there's no problem!", Foggy said with a smile growing up in his face, looking at you. "The blind guy whom you bumped into goes to"

"Really? And do you know where is it?" you answered trying to ignore the blush in your cheeks, remembering the embarrassing moment minutes ago. Matt smiled too.

"Yeah, it seems that we will be classmates. Would it be bad?"

"If you don't remind me about what happened before, it will be great"

"Forgotten"

You both laughed and then your eyes were on Foggy, who had his hands inside his pockets and was looking at a stunning girl with dark hair and sweet eyes. She was laughing with a ginger girl.

"Are you studying Spanish with us?"

"Uhm…no, he's not", answered Matt since Foggy didn't do it. "He's doing Punjabi"

You grimaced and looked at Foggy, who was still staring at the girl with dark hair. Then, something clicked inside your brain and you understood everything. Turning to Matt, you laughed again and he did so.

"So, Punjabi for a girl"

"Not actually", said Foggy looking at Matt and you again as the girl disappeared with her friends. "Punjabi will be the next business language, you will see. And…", Foggy glanced at his watch and smiled widely. "My class begins in ten minutes. See you later, Matt. Nice to meet you, (Y/N)!"

Matthew walked moving his cane from one side to the other and asked you questions about your studies or what you wanted to do. His voice was warm and soft and the conversation was fluent.

You told him that you were studying Literature but you didn't know yet what to do with your life. You loved languages, as you were bilingual –Your grandmother was French- but you had theatre and ballet classes. Also you wanted to be a writer, so your mind was quite a mess.

"May I ask you a question, Matthew?"

"Matt, please. And…", he smiled as he was enjoying a secret joke that only him knew. "No, I haven't always been blind"

"I suppose that's what everybody wants to know", you said, "but it wasn't that". He looked surprised and made a movement with his hand, asking you to continue. "Why did you decide to become a lawyer?"

"Well…uhm…I'd have preferred my blindness story", he answered with a small laugh and shrugged his shoulders. "I want to help people who can't help themselves. I don't know. Make this world a better place, I suppose. You can call me a dreamer"

"No, no, actually…that's beautiful. I believe…", you raised your head and closed your eyes, feeling the warm rays of light caressing your skin. You breathed and smiled before continue talking. "I believe the world needs people like you. Dreamers. To fight and get what bored and tired people won't get"

Matt tilted his head to you and gave you a smile. You wondered how his eyes looked like under the sunglasses and the thought of you taking them off passed through your head.

"There we are. Spanish class"

"Thanks for helping me, Matt"

"Whatever, you need, (Y/N). It's been a pleasure"

You both sat together and enjoyed your first contact with the language. As you knew two already, Matt apologised if he was not as good at you, but actually, he could do it pretty good.

Not bad for the first day.


	2. Chapter 2

This means nothing to me  
'Cause you are nothing to me  
And it means nothing to me  
That you blew this away

"Uno", Muse

* * *

You raised your head from the laptop you had on the table when the doorphone rang. You looked at the clock on the wall and stood up. It was near five o'clock and you were sure it was Foggy Nelson who was at your door. You felt a knot on your stomach as your steps brought you closer to the main door. You were not sure if you wanted to see him. A lot of years had passed. A lot of memories you shared. Memories that were buried after you'd finished college and went to France to teach English and Spanish in Carcassone, a village near Toulouse.

You didn't sleep well that night and your face showed it. Some of your students had asked if everything was fine and others joked that maybe they shouldn't worry you so often, even though you had just been teaching in Columbia for several months. You tried to be a good teacher, to transmit all the love you felt for Literature. You had seen and suffered some horrible teachers that were there...well, you were not sure why they were there. You knew that your students liked you as they could trust you and telling you whatever they needed.

So they were worried about you. Your eyes had dark circles under them due to being the whole night searching for information on the computer. You didn't want to. When you had hung up your phone, you stayed there, looking at it, trying to process all the information Foggy had given to you.

Hell, things had changed then.

If you had understood him, Matt, Matt Murdock, your friend, who, by the way, was blind, was now a sort of vigilante who had tried to defeat a crime king or something whom nobody had never heard until a few weeks when he appeared on the media to show himself as a filantropist.

You should have stayed in France.

That night you looked for the article Foggy had said. Union Allied. Nothing strange. Just another big company being involved in a corruption case. Something more and more usual nowadays. Your next stop was more interesting. The Devil of Hell's Kitchen. A man in a black mask who had decided to take the liberty of cleaning the streets of Hell's Kitchen. Some people defended him, others said he was just a mad man and he should be stopped.

All you could think was about that face covered with the mask. You couldn't...you didn't want to believe under it, Matt was there.

It couldn't be possible.

You opened the door and looked at the man who was standing there, with a bag in his hands. You could see the name of a coffee shop where they sold your favourites donuts. It was near Columbia and you had fallen in love with those donuts on your college days. He knew it, as you could see in his blue puppy eyes. Bastard.

"Just for bringing me those donuts, you can come in" you said letting him going inside your living room.

"Whoa, can you pay this with your teacher's salary? Damn, I chose the wrong option"

"It seems so" you laughed, serving two cups of coffee and bringing them to the table, where Foggy had put the donut's box "Jesus, it's been ages since I ate one of these"

"Moving had its disadvantages", he joked staring at you with a smile. He had his hear cut shorter, but he was the same boy you knew from your student years. You smiled back and picked one donut. Foggy's smiled faded a little bit "You shouldn't have done it"

"I know, Fog..."You both kept silence and you finished eating your donut, cleaning your fingertips with a nap. "I needed time, fresh air...things were not good, as you know"

"Something I could never understand", said he, placing his hands on the table. "Matt and you were so close..."

"Sometimes things just don't work", you replied feeling a bitter taste in your mouth. Foggy's words had opened a door you thought it was closed. "What about you, huh? You were really close. For god's sake, I heard you had something in Landman & Zack's!"

"We quitted", Foggy said looking at his coffee cup without touching it. The drink was becoming colder and colder. "We wanted to save the world, did you know? Being superheroes for those people who suffered..."His voice was heartbreaking and his blue eyes tried to hold the tears. "I didn't know all these years, Matt was actually doing it"

You remembered the articles about the Devil and swallowed. Foggy blew his nose and scanned your face.

"You've read it, haven't you?", you nodded without saying a word and held the pen between your fingers.

"It can't be Matt" you said whispering.

"It is"

"But Foggy..."

"It is", his voice was sharp and angry. "I found himself half-dead in his apartment. Believe he truly is the fucking Devil of Hell's Kitchen"

Your hands covered your mouth as you listened to him. Foggy sighed and run his hand through his hair, shooking his head.

"It is funny, because there is a nurse who helps him to patch him up. A girl who met a few months ago. We've met for ages. AGES! Can you imagine what did I feel when I discovered him like that?"

You didn't answer. You simply put your hand on his and gave a sad smile. In college, Foggy had said that your smile could bring people to life again and you could just laugh at it, although Matt agreed.

Oh, god, Matt.

"So...what have you done since then?"

"We opened our own office, as I told you...we had even a sign...but...I left...I can't stay there working like nothing has happened, knowing..."Foggy covered his face with his own hands and sighed again. You stood up and hugged him, feeling different from those hugs he gave you years ago. He raised his head and look at your eyes. "I can't stay with him. I can't look at him knowing that he lied to us. We are his friends, (Y/N)"

"Actually, I wasn't" you replied shrugging and sitting down again. "I mean, c'mon, Fog. I left the States when I finished my doctorate and I moved to France. I've spent years there, without texting you or even calling you. We haven't talked for ages. I can't say we were actually friends"

"So...you are not angry with him? For lying us?"

"Not angry, Fog. I don't know what to believe right now. Maybe if I had stayed and we'd continued being friends I could feel the same as you. But..."you sighed, "I can't. I'm not saying that I don't feel anything about this"

Foggy Nelson nodded several times before giving you more newspapers with the Devil of Hell's Kitchen on them. You saw him grabbing his coat and taking one donut from the box. You frowned at that.

"Eh! I thought these were for me!"

He laughed and walked to the main door, followed by you and you both stood there, with saying a word and looking at each other. Foggy smiled again and gave you another hug, whspering in your ear.

"Please, visit him. I'm really pissed off with him right now, but...please, do it. He'll need you, (Y/N), he always had" You both separated and he opened the door, looking at you one more time. "It was nice to see you again. I don't know how this will end but...we should meet more"

"Sure"

The door slapped and you rubbed your eyes before going back to the living room, where the newspaper were waiting. Something inside you wanted to continue reading, but your rational part said that was not a good idea. You swallowed and sat down, looking at the newspapers. The first one had a pink fluorescent post-it with the name Matt Murdock and an address on it.

Damn you, Franklin Nelson.

* * *

"Please, Matt, tell her she's wrong. Tell her!"

"Sorry, mate, I don't want to be in this fight" Matt laughed while passed his fingers through the law book he had on the table.

"I can't be friends with somebody like that" Foggy drank his coffee glaring you. You couldn't avoid laughing and stopped writing on your laptop.

"I only answered your question, Fog"

"I can't believe you think that"

"Listen, if Captain America and Iron Man had a fight, Captain would win. That's my position", you continued stealing some chips from Matt's dish. He smiled at you like if he had noticed it.

It was weird because it was like...if he could actually see. Even though he didn't say anything, you felt like if he could see your movements or your face. It was so strange.

"Okay, our friendship is over" Foggy faked leaving the table and Matt and you pleased him to stay as you both needed you.

"He actually needs you more", you pointed with a jokingly tone.

"I keep saying to him that he should get a dog"

"I...I don't want a dog, Foggy", answered Matt laughing and turned his head to you. "The thing is that **he** wants the dog, but the dorm wouldn't let us so..."

"He uses you to get it"you finished the sentence and looked at Foggy, "Shame on you, Franklin Nelson. What would your mother say if she knew you take advantage of a poor blind man?"

"Ohh, wait Miss, because he's not a poor man at all", his finger pointed at Matt, whose face was the portrait of innocence, "He always know where a stunning woman is. Alsays. Why do you think it was him who bumped into you?

You opened your mouth in a fake indignant grimace and pointed at Matt, knowing that he wasn't able to see you.

"All this time...you made me think I was clumsy and I felt bad for throwing you to the ground? And it was all a plan? Shame on you too, Matthew Murdock" You all laughed and continued doing your tasks. You had to write a long analysis about Mrs. Woolf's works and Matt and Foggy had their own things-to-do list.

"Wait a moment...what happened to the girl in your class?" Foggy ignored Matt faces and you stared at them, raising your eyebrow.

"Did you do a Foggy Nelson and joined the Spanish classes for a girl, Matt?" You said with a sardonic tone of voice.

"Actually, no. I just...met her there. And it didn't work, so I don't know why we're talking about this"

"What was her name?" Foggy stared at the ceiling, thinking. "Man, the greek one"

"Elektra?" you answered screaming her name and looking at Matt with a funny smile, "You fell in love with Elektra?"

"Well, maybe..."Matt cheeks were red and you know he didn't like it, but you decided it was a fair punishment for keeping it.

You shared everything. Since that first day you became friends with Foggy and Matt and, though, you obviously had another friends, you spent too much time together. You felt like you could tell them anything that you wouldn't be judged and they would help you as long as they could.

"So what happened?"

"I don't know...just...well, she moved and things between us didn't work" He shrugged and smiled at you, "sometimes happens"

"Don't worry, (Y/N). He will find another beautiful girl with questionable character"

"Why a girl like that?", You said biting your hamburguer.

"Because it's Matt Murdock"


	3. Chapter 3

_i don't belong here._  
 _I don't care if it hurts_  
 _i want to have control_  
 _i want a perfect body_  
 _i want a perfect soul_  
 _i want you to notice_  
 _when i'm not around_  
 _you're so fuckin' special_  
 _i wish i was special_

 _"Creep"-Radiohead_

* * *

You stood up there, feeling the cold wind caressing your skin. Winter was near and soon the city would be covered with snow. You had missed it, during your time in France. Although you had gone to the mountains or the north with friends and you had seen snow, it wasn't the same. You could remember those days in Columbia when you played with Foggy and built snowman. They had even their nose made with a carrot. Matt prefered to stay inside, claiming that he didn't like cold winter, but you felt bad knowing that the reason could be that he wasn't able to see Hell's Kitchen covered with snow anymore.

You sighed and blamed Franklin Nelson and his bloody post-it. You couldn't stop thinking about it even when you where in your office, with a pile of papers waiting to be corrected. But you only could stare at the post-it on your screen with Foggy's handwriting and Matt Murdock's address on it.

And there you were. Scanning the door in front of you. An old lady opened it and came out with a little dog that smelled the pavement before walking. The woman scrutinized at you trying to know if you were dangerous or not. She was holding the door open and you entered quickly, hearing how the door closed. It was an old building, you thought as you saw stains on the ceiling. The wooden steps cracked as you walked to the last floor. You had seen Matt's name in the letterbox.

Your heartbeat increased as you were closer. You blamed Foggy again as you thought that you didn't want to be there. What were you going to say? After all those year, all the things that happened...What would Matt say when he saw you? Well, when he knew it was you, because he couldn't see...You shook your head, noticing that you were thinking dumb things.

The picture of Matt being hurt was in your mind. All you could think of was a bloody Matt alone, lying on his living room's floor. Crying out in pain. Without nobody. It was heartbreaking. You remembered the newspapers on your table, with a picture of the Devil of Hell's Kitchen on it. A man in a black mask. A man whom you knew. Whom you had a close relationship in the past.

You grabbed harder your handbag, full of essays and exams and your laptop. You could hear the sound of a soap opera inside the other apartment while Matt's was silent. Your heart jumped and you rubbed your eyes, trying to keep calm.

After a few minutes of hesitation, you knocked his door.

* * *

Foggy yawned and closed his law book, putting his head on it and closing his eyes. Matt was near, with his hand on his book, written in braille. Your fingers tapped on your laptop's keyboard, finishing a Literature's essay. You had gone to their room after your classes. That was something you did almost everyday. You usually studied together and then you went out to drink something in a bar.

"Mm...avocados...", Foggy spoke while sleeping and you raised your eyebrow, looking at Matt.

"No idea what he's talking about"

"Liar", you said smiling and shaking your head and continued writing.

The following day, it snowed and you were like a child again. The paths had to be cleaned and hundreds of students were on the college's gardens throwing snowballs at their mates. You and Foggy were two of those students. Your laugh could be heard miles away as you played like if you were children. Matt was inside, talking to the secretary about his courses when you threw another ball. Foggy bent down avoiding it and you saw how the snowball hit Matt's face.

"Oh my god! Matt!", you ran and helped him to clean himself, apologising, "I'm so sorry, Matt"

"Hitting a blind man. You should be ashamed, (Y/N)", said Foggy and you glared at him, rising your middle finger and he laughed.

"Don't worry. You can continue playing. I'll be there"

"Don't you want to join us? We can do other things"

"It's not that funny when you are blind" he shrugged and walked away to the building where you both had Spanish classes. You felt bad and followed him as you saw Foggy walking to his Punjabi class. Matt and you knew that he couldn't talk that language although he said he could.

The following days it continued snowing and you helped Matt going to college. The first days you enjoyed that weather, standing near the window in your dorm, with a cup of tea or coffee in your hands. It also helped Foggy, Matt and you to study hard as the exams were closer and closer. Even though Foggy had enough time to go to some pubs. Sometimes, he even brought Matt.

You could remember one night.

You were walking from the library after a hard day studying when you saw two men that you knew very well. One of them was blonde and moved his hands while he explained something to the other man, brown-haired, who moved his cane and jumped, smiling. You couldn't avoid a smile growing up on your face. They were like little boys and you loved their friendship. The way they told everything to the other.

"(Y/N)!", Foggy's drunk voice stopped your thoughts and he waved his hand, jumping and destabilised Matt, who smiled and both walked until they reached you. "What are you doing here?"

"I was studying"

"I told him we're should be doing it too", complained Matt laughing.

"Oh, c'mon! You both are going to pass summa cum laude or something!"

"You could too if you studied more", you answered smiling. "And what about your Punjabi classes?"

"They're good. Soon, it'll be the business' language. Everybody will study it"

"And what about your girl?"

"It wasn't about..."Foggy began to laugh, "She was gorgeous!"

Matt and Foggy laughed and you shook your head, looking at them. You offered them to go with them, so you'd be sure that they didn't have an accident. During your walk, Foggy didn't stop speaking about useless things. When you arrived at their room, you saw how he fell asleep as quick as he threw himself on his bed. Matt laughed quietly and sat on his chair.

"Are you drunk, then?" you said smiling.

"Not as much as him", he pointed at his friend, who was snoring loudly. "Are you nervous?"

"I can't study more, so..."

"You'll do it perfectly. I know it" you smiled and walk toward his bed, sitting near to him. "May I?"

"Of course" answered Matt after a few moments of doubt. You raised your hands and reached his sunglasses, taking them off and putting them on the table near the bed. His eyes were brown and sparkled.

"(Y/N), may I ask you something?"

"Yeah"

"Could I touch your face?", he interrupted before you could say something, "I know, I know. I just want to...feel your face and...imagine...you..." You saw his face blushing and you felt yours doing the same. He stuttered and swallowed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that"

"Yes, you can" you whispered smiling although he couldn't see you.

Matt put his hands on your shoulders first and then they began moving. You felt his fingertips touching your neck, giving you the chills. You realised his hands were calloused but it was a pleasant feeling. His fingers went across your face, through your nose, your eyebrows, your cheeks. He stopped at your mouth, touching and caressing your lips. He was near to you and you could feel his warm breath. He smelled like his shaving cream, mint and something else. Your heart pumped against your chest and you closed your eyes.

"You're beautiful, did you know that, (Y/N)?"

"Liar" You both smiled and Matt took your hand, pressing a soft kiss on it. You hold your breath and stood up quickly. "I...I should go"

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Don't worry about me" You leant and kissed Matt's forehead "Goodnight, Matt"

"Goodnight, (Y/N)"

You left the room and walked to your dorm, without realising that you were still smiling.

* * *

Matt Murdock sighed and stood up slowly, feeling his wounds and his body aching. The worst pain he had was in his heart as he remembered his conversation with Foggy and how he had left his apartment. Claire had cleaned him and he knew she was angry too. But what had woken him up was something else.

It was a weak noise. Something outside his building. Matt sat on the sofa listening to it carefully. It was a heartbeat and some steps on the stairs. His whole body was tense as he felt vulnerable. The noises were louder and then someone knocked on the door. He waited. It wasn't Karen or Foggy. It was someone who wore some coconut perfume. It was soft so his senses were not overwhelmed. His heart sounded nervous.

He walked through his apartment without hesitation. He reached the door and opened it, feeling something he thought it was forgotten.

"Hello, Matthew"

"(Y/N)", he whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

_Whenever I'm alone with you_  
 _You make me feel like I am home again_  
 _Whenever I'm alone with you_  
 _You make me feel like I am whole again_

 _"Lovesong", Adele_

* * *

Matt had the door opened and you saw how he had changed during all those years. He was stronger and he had cut his hair, but you still could see that boy you knew from your Columbia days. All your memories came to your mind and your heartbeat began to speed. You had a lump in your throat and swallowed. His eyes were focused somewhere between your mouth and your chin, as they always did.

"I...I didn't expect..."

"I know", you answered quietly.

"You came back"

"It seems so", you laughed nervously and heard how his neighbour changed the channel, listening to some reality show. "You've changed"

"I'd like to say you did, but I can't see it", you both laughed trying to remove that tensed atmosphere that was installed between the two of you "Your voice sounds the same. Sweet, calmed..."

"I never liked my voice, you know that"

"That's a shame. I loved it. Well..."Matt bit his lip like if he was thinking before saying anything"I still love it. I...well, I would have liked having it here all these years"

"I'm sorry, Matt"

"No, (Y/n)", he said, suffering painted in his face, " **I** am sorry"

Afterwards you were sitting on his couch with a cup of coffee in your hands. Matt was by your side with his own cup, although he didn't drink. You pulled a lock of hair away from your eyes and placed the cup on the table, looking around. His apartment was a mess and you saw rests of what seemed to be a fight. You swallowed as you remembered what Foggy had told you and what you had read on the newspapers.

"So, are you working here, in New York?"

"Yeah, I...came from France a few months ago. I'm teaching at Columbia" You shrugged your shoulders even though you knew Matt was blind. "What about you?"

"Foggy and I worked for a lawyer's office several months before opening our own. But..."Matt seemed to doubt and you could see him closing his hands, red and hurt. You remembered Foggy's words as he was telling you that Matt Murdock was the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. "I don't know if it will be open for a long time"

"I know" Matt's face reflected surprise and you sighed. "He called me a few days ago. It was completely shocking to me, as you might imagine. I've been in Carcassone for years and just a few months after being back in Hell's Kitchen, Franklin Nelson calls me" you laughed nerviously and began to play with your hair, "He told me...he..."

"You don't need to say anything", he answered and touched your arm softly. You looked at his hands and remembered the way he used to hug you. And suddenly you realised that you missed that. The trust between both of you. Those evenings talking about nothing and everything at the same time. All.

"He told me you would need my help" Matt raised his eyebrows, surprised and you continued, "He told me how he had found you here. Lying half dead on the floor" His jaw clenched as you spoke and you noticed his shaking hands. "He said he couldn't be here by your side. Not now. And...he said you needed me. That...you always had"

"And here you are..." he said in such a quiet voice that you had to move closer to hear him. "Did he tell you why was I in that condition?"

"Yes. He told me that I had to read some articles. Union Allied. A vigilante" Matt's fists were closed and shook and his tongue touched his bottom lip.

"So...you know"

"Yeah. Matt...You are the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, right?"

He didn't answer but it was not necessary. His body language was enough for you. It always was. You remembered your college days in which he tried to hide his emotions, but you always knew whether he was sad or angry. You always knew.

Like now.

* * *

"C'mon, Matt"

"It's just your imagination, (Y/n), I'm fine!"

You looked at him and raised your eyebrow, sighing as you walked by his side through the city. You heard somebody singing and the melody of a violin. Matt covered his mouth with his scarf and you felt yourself shiver. It was freezing again.

"Matt, you don't have to tell me something if you don't want. You know that. But there's something I hate, and it is when somebody is fooling me. I really hate that. So don't tell me you are fine and everything is perfect because I see it in your face" He began to laugh and you wrinkle your nose, hitting him on his arm. "What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing", he answered smiling and continued walking. The sound of his cane had a calming effect on you. "I just think that you should be studying to be a lawyer. If it's true that you know when someone's lying, that would be very useful"

You didn't say anything and made a noise expressing your disgust, making Matt smiling again. He put his arm around your waist and put you closer to him. You smelled his scent and closed your eyes a few seconds, enjoying that moment.

Time had passed and you hadn't talked about that intimate moment you both shared while Foggy was snoring a few metres away from you. Matt seemed to not remember it and you didn't like to make things different. But inside your mind, you still could see Matt's eyes sparkling as he was touching your face. His lips near yours and you thought how it would be to kiss them.

Stop it. Stop it while you can, you had ordered your brain several times.

"So, you are not going to tell me anything, I suppose"

"I'd like it. Trust me, (Y/n)", he stopped and put his hand on your cheek, touching it with his thumb. "I hate lying to you, but I can't tell you anything"

"It's fine. I understand. But, please Matt, next time tell me something like this and don't try to fool me"

"Promise" said he walking by your side.

You realised that he still had his hand on your waist and your temperature highed up as your heart began to speed up. You felt like a teenager and blamed yourself and your body. It was something embarrasing and also...

You didn't want that. You didn't want to fall in love with your best friend. You knew how that things usually ended and you couldn't lose Matt. You couldn't even imagine your life without him and Foggy by your side.

"Are you okay, (Y/n)? You are too quiet"

"Oh, so now have we changed our roles?" you answered with a satirical tone and you saw Matt's mouth curving into a smirk.

"Yeah, now it's my turn to be like a father"

"Wait", you stopped walking dramatically and looked at him, "I'm not like a mother"

"You sometimes are", he admitted laughing and grabbing you closer, "always worrying about me: If I ate well or not, If I am good..."

"You ungrateful man", you said trying to escape from his arms.

"Oh, c'mon!" Matt laughed and he hugged you.

"Matt, you're crushing me!"

His hug became soft and warm and you felt him kissing your forehead. His breathing on your hair. His hands caressing you, one on your lower back and the other on your shoulders. You closed your eyes, thinking that you could stay like that forever.

"Y/n?"

"Huh?"

"I remember that night..."he whispered and you looked at him. The moon lighted up his face and the sky was covered by stars. You wished he could see that with you. An idea came to your mind and you put a finger on his lips, leading him to an empty bench. He didn't know what was going on but you sat near him and began to describe the sky in a calmed and sweet voice.

Matt was surprised and delighted. He couldn't remember the last time somebody had done something like that for him. His heart beated faster and he moved his head, listening the sound of your voice, a sound he never got tired of listening to. A voice that could calm himself. A voice that made his heart jump inside his chest. Your hand took his and you began to touch his fingers while you continued describing.

"(Y/n), I don't know what to say...I...just..."His voice showed his emotions and Matt smiled. "Thank you"

"You're welcomed" you shrugged your shoulders and opened your mouth. "What did you want to...?"

You stopped talking as Matt kissed you. His lips were soft and delicate but also they were hungry and his teeth bit your lips. You moaned quietly and Matt put a hand on your cheek, touching it. You grabbed his hair, pulling him closer. It felt like if there was too much space between the two of you. You needed him closer. Suddenly you separated and looked at the other. Matt's lips were red and bitten and you imagined yours were in a similar condition. Your breathings were faltering and your heart bumped against your chest.

You looked at him and apologised, standing up and walking to your dorm, leaving Matt sitting in the bench, under the stars.

* * *

"It's been a long time"

"I know"

"Things happened" you nodded and observed your own hands. Matt took them and you turned your head, staring at him. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"I know you are the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, so yeah, I want to know why my best friend, who, by the way, is blind, is able to fight against...what? Russians?"

"And I think the Yakuza too"

"Oh...that's great" Your voice was ironical and angry. "Why, Matt? Why did you lie to me? To Foggy?! For God's sake, he's your best friend. You've been together all this years, even when I disappeared"

"I couldn't tell you anything. That would had put you in danger. And I don't want that. I prefer to be alone and..."

"And what, Matthew? Dying alone in your own blood? That's what you want? You need Foggy, Matt. He could have understood and helped you"

"What about you?"

"What about me? I left"

"I've been thinking of you all this years"

"Liar"

You both smiled as you recognised that word. The word you used so frequently that it was like a part of you. You cleaned your throat and scanned Matt's apartment before turning your face to him again, looking at his brown eyes. Then, you spoke.

"Tell me everything, Matthew. And this time, don't fool me"


	5. Chapter 5

_And forcing our darkest souls to unfold_  
 _Pushing us into self destruction_

 _"Showbiz", Muse._

* * *

The apartment was completely silent. You could hear the traffic noises outside. The huge billboard opposite Matt's window was shining so bright that you had to look away. Your blood was pumping through your veins. You sighed and swallowed and moved your shaking hands, trying to order all the information Matt had just given to you.

"So...let's make this clear..." you said after a long time. Matt fixed his eyes in your mouth while you spoke. "That car accident that made you blind...those chemicals...gave you magic powers or something and...what? You kick asses all around Hell's Kitchen and try to defeat some crime's king or something" you laughed nervously and stood up, walking around the living room.

"I know this sounds so strange and difficult to understand..."

"No, of course not!" your voice's tune was ironic and satirical "You, Matthew Murdock, a blind man, fighting men with your powers. Do you have a shield or an iron suit?"

"Well...I prefer buying my clothes on the Internet"

You raised your hands and covered your face, not believing what your old friend was saying.

"So...all this time...in college...you didn't need our help?"

"Not really. But...obviously I couldn't deny it. It would be...you know"

"Yeah, okay, I get it" you remembered something and you faced him, crossing your arms. "You always knew if somebody was lying to you, didn't you?"

"Yes. But you never lied to me"

"I couldn't" you shrugged and sat down again. Matt put his hand on your knee and you remembered that night. Both of you under the stars, kissing. "You knew I had a crush on you?"

"I never listened to your heart, (Y/N). Never. I...isolated that sound when I wanted. I felt disrespectful. It was so private, so intimate...I couldn't do it"

You stared at him and then whispered "Thank you"

He nodded in response and cleared his throat. He knew you. He knew perfectly that you wanted to say something but he had learnt to be patient and wait until you were ready to speak.

"How long have you been doing it?"

"Since college. More or less"

"How did it begin?"

"Do you really want to know" You nodded.

"Oh, sorry...I...just nodded"

"I know" he smiled and took your hand. It seemed small compared to his. "One night I was in my room and I heard a girl crying. His father used to come into her room when her mother was gone. I called the social workers but both denied it" You closed your eyes and you felt your own jaw being tense. Matt's hand was holding yours firmly. "I knew his routine, so one night I followed him and began to hit him, ensuring that he wouldn't harm her again. He never did" He paused and breathed slowly. His eyes were fixed at some point of the wall. "That was the moment when I realised that justice was not enough sometimes. That something needed to be done"

"And you began to punch people, didn't you?"

You bit your tongue as you saw Matt's face. His eyes were watery and he swallowed. You regreted immediately saying that.

"I don't enjoy doing it, (Y/N)"

"I know, Matt. I just...didn't think before speaking. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that"

You both remained silent and you heard somebody screaming in the apartment below Matt's. A couple, it seemed. You thought about him being able to listen to everything. It was mad.

"I still remember that night..."

You closed your eyes and rest your head on his shoulder.

* * *

You knew it.

You shouldn't have done it.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

You still had in your mind how you had arrived at your bedroom in the dorm. You realised you were smiling and couldn't stop it. That night you barely slept, tossing and turning thinking about Matt's lips. The way they'd kissed you and his hands on your cheeks making you shiver. But after those moments of bliss, you realised what have you done. You've fucked it.

How could you look at Matt again? It wouldn't be the same after that kiss. You weren't even sure if you wanted a relationship. Dating your bestfriend could be great but you didn't want to lose him, one way or another.

Luckily, next day you were too busy preparing your own exams and you didn't see either Matt nor Foggy. You knew you weren't prepared to talk about what had happened. Your roommate, Claire, who was preparing herself to be a nurse had given you advices about what to do, but, honestly, you knew yourself and you wouldn't follow them.

The following days were as busy as the first day after the kiss. Essays, exams, oral presentations...You didn't have enough time to have a social life, so your evenings consisted on you surrounded by books and your laptop and more books. Even Claire had time to go out with her friends.

 _[19.23] Foggy: Are you alive?_

 _[19.25] You: Barely._

 _[19.29] Foggy: We thought you were kidnapped by aliens or something._

 _[19.31] You: Matt wouldn't think that._

 _[19.33] Foggy: Touché. Hey, what about Josie's tonight?_

 _[19.36] You: I can't. Essay tomorrow._

 _[19.40] Foggy: C'mon! You're like Matt! You'll graduate with honors. You need a night out._

 _[19.42] Foggy: Remember those old days?_

 _[19.43] Foggy: When we could go out and passing our exams?_

 _[19.45] You: Fogg...I can't, I swear._

 _[19.47] Foggy: (y/n), if you don't come, we'll go like Mahomet and the mountain._

 _[19.50] You: Okay. Just one hour and I'll come back._

And there you were. With a dirty glass in your hand watching Foggy flirting with Marci, a girl from her class. Honestly, all of them were law students so you didn't know what were you doing there, if Foggy was busy and there were classmates whom Matt could talk with.

"Are you having a good time?" You closed your eyes as you heard that voice you knew perfectly and a hand rested on your waist.

"Not really", you admitted turning your face "I don't understand why Foggy wanted me here If he's talking all the time with Marci. Well, now they're not talking, really"

Matt began to laugh and took a sip from his glass, his cane leaned against the bar. You saw the way some girls looked at him, whispering. Yes, Matt was really attractive but also he could be charming when he wanted. And sometimes he _really_ wanted.

"Can I be honest, (Y/N)? You nodded and blamed yourself. Matt's smile got wider and he whispered near your ear, his hot breathing caressing your skin. "I wanted you here" He placed a hot, warm and humid kiss on your neck and you felt your body shaking.

"Why?"

"I've missed you. I wanted to talk and to hear your voice again"

"Matt...I..."

"I've been thinking about that kiss all these days. It's driving me mad, (Y/N)"

You turned your face and looked at him. His lips were red and wet after he had touched them with his tongue. You had a knot inside you and you had to contain yourself from going with him to your dorm. Or even kiss him there at Josie's, like Foggy and Marci were doing. Matt placed another kiss before biting your earlobe and you swallowed hard, clenching your fists and digging your nails in your own palm.

"Matt...It's not a good idea..."

"I know...believe me, I know..."

There was something in his voice you couldn't understand. Like a hidden secret. You left your glass and walked out, heading towards your dorm. Inside your mind, you could listen to Matt's voice.

 _I've missed you._

* * *

"I think I must leave"

You stood up and took your purse, heading to the main door, hearing Matt's footsteps behind you. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arm. You looked at him. He was well-built and he'd changed his haircut. But you saw the same puppy face you remembered from your Columbia's days. The same boy from Hell's Kitchen you knew.

"What are you going to do?"

"I believe I must assimilate all the things that had happened these days. After that...I don't know, Matt" you said with a sad voice tone, grabbing your purse.

"You shouldn't stay by my side. You could be harmed. And that it's something I can't allow. Not you"

"Why me?"

"You know why"

"Too many years have passed, Matthew"

"I know" you both remained silent and you turned to the door, opening it. Before leaving you could hear Matt's voice again.

"Are you staying with me, (Y/N)?"


	6. Chapter 6

_Other dancers may be on the floor_  
 _Dear, but my eyes will see only you_  
 _Only you have the magic technique_  
 _When we sway I go weak_

 _"Sway"_

* * *

Your mind was lost in your memories and your steps echoed on the paviment. The streets were empty except for a few cats looking for food in the dumpsters. One of them, white and black, glanced at you with its green eyes and hissed, running into the alley. You didn't turn your head at the noise as you had Matt's voice in your head, telling his story as you just could stay sat on his couch. Your ears buzzed listening to him and all the pieces fit together like a puzzle.

Matt was opposite to you, standing up, staring at some point in which he imagined your face was. His puppy brown eyes were sad and you saw that it seemed like he was holding the whole world on his shoulders. Despite this, you only could see him in another light. On the one hand, it was Matt, the boy you fell in love with at college. The boy who became a man, a lawyer, and opened an office with his best friend. On the other hand, you saw his other face. His Devil's side. All the nights when Foggy and you couldn't talk to him, he was chasing criminals or God knew who. He was trying to defeat Wilson Fisk, a kingpin of crime in Hell's Kitchen.

Could you trust him as you did in the past? Were you going to stay with him as Foggy had asked you?

You didn't know.

"I don't want you to stay with me, (Y/N)" Matt had said, walking towards you. You smelled his aroma and that made you wanting to hug him, to bury yourself between his arms. "I can't ask you that. It's too dangerous. I can't ask people I love to stay by my side because they'll get hurt"

"But?" You knew there was more.

"But, on the other hand, I beg you to stay. Because I feel I can't lose you again"

You had felt your legs shaking and had wanted to stay. To assure you would be with him. Instead, you had left his apartment.

And at that moment, you were on the streets, feeling the frozen wind hitting you like blades. You put your collar's up and continued walking, watching as some cars passed near you. The night was too silent for a place like that. A shiver went across your spine and you found yourself hurrying your steps, thinking of your house and your bed. There was something wrong. You knew it.

You'd learnt that our instinct was something infallible and you usually took it into account. And that night, your brain was telling you that you had to run, to speed up. Something was happening and your primal instinct wanted to protect you.

When you'd arrived to a poorly-lit street and you blamed yourself. Maybe it was a fool act, but you didn't feel safe anymore. You began to run and felt your heart rate speed up as you heard some steps behind you. You didn't want to turn your face and look at whoever was. You couldn't. The main street was almost there. You could see some people walking and even laughing. Just a few steps. Just a few.

Suddenly, somebody grabbed your hair and your face hit the wall. The world was going around in circles and your knees couldn't hold your body. The man was speaking to other person but you weren't able to understand his words. You were too dizzy to notice. The man grabbed your arms as the other did the same with your legs and they began to walk. They threw you into a car's trunk.

The last thing you could see before your eyes closed were the beautiful stars in Hell's Kitchen.

* * *

"C'mon, (Y/N), dance with me!" You shook your head and ran away, trying to escape from Foggy's arms. You hid in Matt's arms, who was laughing. "Okay, I don't need you! I'll find another lady to dance with!"

It was pretty obvious that Foggy had drunk too much that night. But he replied that it was a celebration as he and Matt had passed all his exams and were one step closer to be lawyers. You were so proud of them. They worked hard to get what they wanted and they were dreamers. Good people who wanted to change the world. You found that adorable.

"I've never seen a girl running away from him as you did" said Matt, still holding you. "And I've seen too many"

"You're a terrible friend, Murdock" you answered going to the bar and taking your beer, drinking. Matt followed you and sat on the bar stool, his cane between his legs.

"He makes fun of me too!"

"Now you look like a child tattleling to his mother" you said rolling your eyes and smiling. Matt laughed and you turned your face, watching as Foggy was talking to another girl. She had red hair and beautiful green eyes. "What happened to Marci?"

"It didn't work"

"Why?"

Matt shrugged and took a sip of his own beer smiling. You left yours on the bar and followed the rhythm of the song with your fingers. It was a mix of salsa and something else. You didn't like that music, but that good enough.

"I thought you were a ballerina"

"I dance ballet, Matt, not salsa" You both laughed again and suddenly the music changed. You recognised the singer. It was Michael Bublé's version of Sway. You'd dance it at a friends party or something like that. It'd been a success a some years ago.

You turned your body and found Matt's. His face was decorated with a smirk and you raised your eyebrow. You knew him enough to read his mind. He was planning something and you wouldn't like it. He put his cane on the bar and took your hand, kissing it softly, smoothly. His lips barely touched your skin, even though it was enough to send shivers to your whole body.

"Would it be possible to dance with you, milady?"

"Matt...tell me you're not doing it" you said laughing nervously but he had taken a decision. You sighed, knowing that was a lost battle. "It'd a pleasure, Lord"

You led Matt to the dancing floor as the song continued sounding in the loudspeakers. You put one of your hand on his shoulder and the other one took Matt's as he had his other hand on the lower part of your back. You swallowed and looked at his eyes covered by the red glasses. You frowned and took them, putting them on his pocket.

"That's better. I like your eyes"

Matt smiled shyly and he moved your body. You followed him and stopped being tense, relaxing yourself and enjoying the song. Matt could have been blind, but he was an incredible dancer as you could notice. Everybody was looking at you but it wasn't important to you. It was just you and Matt. His lips were slightly touching the skin of your neck and you felt his smile on it.

The song finished and the whole bar began to applause. Your cheeks blushed and you walked to the bar counter where Foggy was, clapping and smiling at you like if he could imagine you wearing a white dress and all that stuff. Matt was by your side and he took his cane again, looking at Foggy and you.

"I'm sorry, guys. I must go"

"But...the night's just begun! You're a killjoy, Matt!"

"I'm so sorry mate. I promise I will reward you" Foggy rolled his eyes and you laughed. Matt gave you a kiss on your forehead and you hugged him, smelling his aroma and feeling his arms around you. It was like he could protect you from all harm. "It was a pleasure, (Y/N). I'd like to do it again"

"Oh, no. Don't you dare, Matthew Michael Murdock"

Matt smiled at this name and left the bar. You stared at his neck watching how he disappeared.

* * *

 _"Are you sure this will work?"_

 _"Yeah, c'mon. Don't be a jerk. We'll catch him"_

 _"How you know?"_

 _"The Devil seems to have weak spots on children, grannies and ladies"_

 _"But why her?"_

 _"It seems my men watched the Devil following her to her house. She may be important to him. So If we have her, we'll have him"_

Your head buzzed and you felt sick, like vomiting. You raised your hand, touching your forehead and noticed there was something sticky on it. You could imagine it was blood. Your own blood. You blinked several times and you saw you were inside the trunk yet. The car was moving and that increased your dizzy sensation. You wanted it to stop.

When confusion left your brain a sudden fear invaded you. They wanted you because they knew you were important to the Devil even though they didn't know Matt was him. You sighed in relief as you realised that and tried to figure where were you brought to and who wanted you. The picture of Wilson Fisk appeared in your eyes and your whole body began to shake. As Matt has told you, it seemed Fisk has killed one of the Russian crushing his head with his car's door. It was frightening.

You didn't know how long you were there but suddenly, the car stopped.

"Matt, please. Come. Please..."


	7. Chapter 7

_Oh, can't you see_  
 _You belong to me_  
 _How my poor heart aches with every step you take_

 _"Every breath you take"- The Police_

* * *

The fist hit your jaw again and you moaned in pain, bending your head down. Blood's taste filled your mouth and you spited on the cement floor. Voices whispered around you, but your head felt dizzy and you weren't able to understand a single word.

"Who's him"

"Who?"You said in your best innocent voice. As the man kicked you on your stomach, you gasped, trying to get some fresh air.

"Don't play with me, little bitch. The Devil. You know who's him"

"I don't know!" you screamed, your whole body shaking. "I arrived just a few months ago! I don't even know what you're talking about!"

Silence filled the atmosphere. You could almost listen to the gears inside the man's brain. You were sure he had received orders to get the Devil, dead or alive. They've found you and now he was deciding if you were lying or not.

"Listen to me, doll" The man grabbed your hair and forced you to look at him. It was difficult as they had hit you on your left eye and you could barely open it. "If you tell me where to find that fucking bastard, we'll leave you. If not…"the man laughed softly and you felt your spine shivering. "You will beg us to kill you"

Tears began to roll down your cheeks as you mumbled that you didn't know anything about the Devil. That man seemed to get tired of you and you heard his steps around the room. A metallic sound made you jump and curled up, as that could protect you.

"You don't wanna talk, doll? Alright. We'll make you speak…and maybe…"He put a hand on your knee. Even though you wore your jeans you felt disgust and moved your leg. The man laughed and the rest of the criminals followed him. "We'll have fun with you, bitch. I'm sure your little pussy will want more of us"

Suddenly, a growl was heard over the place. A wood stick hit the man who was near to you and you saw him falling on the floor. The others began to shoot, bullets flying all around. You wished Matt was fine. One of the men grabbed you and put his weapon on your head.

"Devil! I've got your girl! I swear I'll put a bullet in her fucking brain"

You were crying even though you didn't make a sound. Despite this, Matt heard you. Your crying was audible to him because of his heightened senses. He felt your heartbeat speeding up.

"Leave her" He whispered with his voice's tone lowered. "First warning"

"I swear, man! I'll do it!" You realised how nervous was him, feeling his shaking hand holding barely the gun. He was terrified of facing the Devil of Hell's Kitchen.

"When I count three, (Y/N), bend down, okay?" You nodded although you were still crying.

"What the fuck! I promise I'll do it!"

"1…"

"I'll paint that wall with her brains!"

"2…"

Matt was getting closer and closer. Before the criminal could notice it, another wood stick flew and hit his hand. You screamed and run away, trying to escape. Matt turned his head, listening to you. Three men were lying on the floor, around you.

"(Y/N)…"

"Shut up! Just get me out of here"

Matt nodded and held out his hand. You took it and he lead you out of that place.

* * *

The blinds were lowered, muffling the noises that came from the city. The lamp on Matt's desk on, lighting his books. He was passing his fingers on the sheets of paper. But he couldn't avoid listening to your heartbeats. They were calmed, relaxed as you were asleep on his couch.

Foggy was with some girl and you both had decided to watch some movies. You had fallen asleep soon and Matt decided to study. Your final exams were near and you had to make the last effort. Matt moved his head and couldn't stop the smile that grew up on his face as he listened to your breathing. He raised his hands off his books and stood up, getting closer to the couch. Your head was spread on the cushion and your lips were slightly opened. Matt caressed your cheek and kissed your forehead. You moved and moaned lightly without waking up.

"Sometimes I'd like to be honest with you, (Y/N)..."he muttered smelling the sweet parfume of your hair. "Telling you..."Matt swallowed and sighed, shaking his head. "You'd be in danger. And I can't allow that..."

"Matt..."you whispered and he raised his eyebrows, feeling his heart freezing. Did you hear him? No. As he could tell, your heart was still calmed. You were dreaming.

"I'm here, (Y/N)"

You mumbled and moved, opening your eyes. You rubbed your eyes and realised Matt was standing there. He smiled softly and you copied him. You moved to leave him sitting by your side. He sat down and ran his hand through his brown hair. You took his sunglasses carefully and placed them on the table, kissing him on his cheek.

"Have you slept well, (Y/N)?"

"Perfectly" you answered yawning and stretching out, smirking. "I'm thinking of stealing your couch"

"Whenever you want. Foggy will be happy about it. But...I'm not sure you'd be willing to hear him with his girls" Matt began to laugh as he saw your face and you digged him on his ribs. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry!"

"I don't understand why girls like you, Matthew Murdock"

"You should ask yourself then" You snored although your cheeks blushed. Matt cleaned his throat, looking embarrased. "I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't want to..."

It was still something between the two of you. You knew what Matt felt about you and he was sure you liked him. But both were terrified of beginning a relationship. You didn't want to screw up everything. And Matt didn't want to have a date as he was a vigilante on his nights. He'd like to do it. To love you. To kiss you. But he couldn't. If he wanted to keep you safe, he couldn't do it.

"Matt...I..."You played with your fingers and sighed "Fuck it"

Before he could reply you leaned and kissed him. His surprised was replaced with passion. You sat on his lap without breaking the kiss. Matt bit your bottom lip and you moaned, grabbing his hair and pushing him against your own body. You needed to feel him. His hands were on your hair and you felt his right hand going down and resting on your lower back. You both separated, catching your breaths. Matt's lips were red and bitten and you could imagine your own mouth.

"(Y/N)..."Matt whispered and made a trail of kisses from your jaw to your ear. You whined and he smiled. "I love that sound, do you know that?" You shook your head and felt Matt's lips on your neck, licking and sucking your skin. "Do you think I could make you do it again and again?"He was smirking and you felt your body shaking in anticipation and heat growing up inside you.

"Well..."you said grinning. "I don't know if you'll be capable" Matt's jaw tensed and you screamed when you felt on the couch. Matt was on top of you, one knee touching each side of your waist. His hands took yours and put them above your head.

"Oh, sweetheart" he replied huskily, touching his top lip. You couldn't stop looking at them, so full and red. You stood up, trying to kiss him, but Matt clicked his tongue, smiling. "Believe me that you won't be able to walk tomorrow"

The knot in your stomach grew up and you groaned so low that you didn't think he could have heard you. But he'd done. Matt was hearing your heartbeats, fast and loud. Your body was hot and something told him that your core was as hot as the rest of your body.

It was true. Your panties were wet and you moved your hips against him, looking for some friction. Matt took off your shirt and spread some kisses along your collarbone. He felt your aroma, so atractive to him. Matt unclasped your bra and threw it. Your hands took the hem of his black t-shirt and took it off. Your nails scratched his chest and Matt breathed deeply and grabbed your hands again, pinning them above your head.

"You're a hard opponent, my dear"

You smiled and tried to reply, but your words were muffled when Matt's left hand cupped your breast. His fingers pinched your nipple until it was sore. You couldn't stop your moans and Matt smiled against your skin.

That bastard.

He stopped grabbing your hands and traced kisses down your stomach. His hands unzipped your jeans and took them off, together with your underwear. You held your breath as the tip of his tongue teased your aching core.

"God, Matt..."

"Am I capable, now, sweetheart?" You heard his laugh and his hot breath against your thighs. Your hands gripped his hair and pushed him against your clit. "Careful, darling..."

His hands opened your legs and rested on your thighs, squeezing them with his long fingers. You whimpered as his mouth made his job, licking, touching and even biting. You heart speeded up as Matt could hear and he knew he was doing his job right. He put one finger inside you, then two and you moaned loudly. You hoped the other students in his dorm couldn't hear you.

"Yes, Matt! Please!"You cried moving your hips against his face. When you'd almost reached your orgasm, Matt stopped suddenly. You looked down at him, confusion painted on your face. "Don't stop now!"

"Why? You said I wasn't capable"

"C'mon!" Matt was on the top of you again and you took off the rest of the clothes he was wearing. He was hard and you knew he wanted you as much as you wanted him. You moved, trying to get some friction, but Matt stopped you, holding your hips.

"Tell me, (Y/N)"he whispered on your ear biting it. "What do you want?"

"You know what I want, bastard" You screamed when his hand slapped your ass, pain mixed with pleasure.

"Language. Now, continue"

"I want you. I want you inside me" You put your hands on his cheeks and looked into his unfocused eyes. "I want you to fuck me until I can't take more"

Matt growled and bit your neck strongly. You were sure the following day you'd have lovebites all over your body, but you didn't mind at all. His hands took your ass after he had put on a condom and you felt his tip teasing you. Slowly he entered you and you pushed him with your heels.

"Matt, please...You're killing me"

"I know" he smirked as he entered you roughly.

You arched your body and you emitted a moan of pleasure. Matt began to move, giving hard and slow thrusts that hit spots you didn't forehead was against yours and he desired being able to see just to watch your face. He wanted to watch the blush on your cheeks, the way you were biting your lips, your expression when you had reached your orgasm.

"Matt...I'm close" You said with a hand on his neck, each thrust moving you closer to your edge.

"I know...fuck!"He moaned and pushed again, this time harder than the others. His hand went down your belly and stroke your aching clit. You felt your shaking body and you knew you wouldn't last too much time. "Yes...cum for me, sweetheart"

Matt bit your neck and the mix of his voice and his cock hitting you hard, made you reached your orgasm and you moaned his name which was a pleasure to Matt's ears. He had made you this. He could make you cum.

"Matt, love...move...you're almost there" You mumbled as you felt Matt's arms shaking too. He continued moving inside you until he growled. Your bodies were sticky but you didn't mind at all. His body pressed against yours as your pulse began to stabilize. Soon, you felt your eyes closing as Matt caressed your hair.

"I love you, (Y/N)", he admitted in a low voice.

But you were already asleep.

* * *

Matt lead you to his couch and left you there, carefully. He didn't want to harm you. Not you.

"I'm so sorry...I...didn't want this. THIS!" He shouted as he reached his first aid bag and began to heal your injuries. "That's what I tried to avoid. People I love being harmed"

"Matt...just...stop...It's not your fault, okay. I'm sorry I shouted at you before"

"But...It is, (Y/N)" You hissed as he treated one of your wounds and he frowned "I'm sorry"

"That's why you left me, isn't it?" You took his hand and looked right into his eyes.

"I wanted to protect you"

"You broke my heart"You whispered, your voice full of sadness. You didn't know how you managed to stay firm.

"I broke mine too" Matt's eyes were watery and you swallowed. "I had to do it. It was too dangerous"

"I trusted you, Matt. You could have told me anything"

"Would you be by my side if you knew I was...what I am?"

"Of course" you answered firmly, putting your hands on his cheeks. Your voice shuddered. "I loved you as you were, Matthew Murdock. Being a devil or not"

He began to cry and you imitated him. His strong arms covered you and you cried on his chest as Matt spread kisses on your forehead. You felt save there, inside his arms. Yes, you could trust him. You knew he would be always there, protecting you.

You didn't feel fear.


End file.
